Well it’s been almost a month now. Wow, time flies. Let me do a quick update on how things are going…
Work – going well. I know a lot of people and generally feel a lot more comfortable there than before. I’m getting things done. And I think that’s really saying something considering the TONS of projects we have. There has been a lot of effort involved with the new distribution center they want to move in to. However, it’s been tough getting some straight answers. So we have a deadline approaching and no contract for space to move our stuff to. Very odd. However, the process has been very interesting to watch take place.
Home – Kids are almost ready to be heading back to school. Which I am sure will make my wife very, very happy. They are getting bored and with boredom comes arguing. They’ve been at each others throats for weeks now. So, school will be a good thing. 
I’m sure the kids are actually looking forward to it as well. Well, sorta.
Other – still trying to sell my truck. I just need to get something more affordable. It’s a fantastic truck, I just need something a little better on gas and a lot better on monthly payment. I’ll sell it dome day soon hopefully.
Other Other – went to go visit my cousin yesterday. We live not too far from one another, but we don’t really socialize much. And I’m pretty sure it’s because of what an asshat I used to be. Which stinks. She’s really nice and her husband is a cool guy. I helped her setup her wireless access point to be secure. Dell wanted to charge her $50 and it took me all of 5 minutes to do. What a rip off! And that leads me to this…
Let me setup the scene for you.
Imagine me going to dinner with my cousin, her husband and my aunt and uncle – you know all of us out to have a fun time (this was like 7-8 years ago). Sounds good so far. And then there is me, feeling somewhat insecure about myself I suppose and I just let loose with this stupid stream of jackassed/stupid/idiodic sentences. Just assinine comments about how much money I make in some sort of pathetic attempt to seem cool, or SOMETHING. Well, I had actually managed to push this moment out of my head for years. Totally didn’t remember it. And then about a year or so ago my Aunt makes some casual comment to me about something that I had said that night. I think she was poking a little fun at me (which is fine, God knows I needed it). And it hit me like a ton of bricks. I immediately asked her “Did I say that?”, “I surely didn’t say that!”. I was just mortified. How could I have been SUCH an asshole? What would prompt me to say anything remotely like that? The sheer terror of the asshat that I was that night came flooding back to me all at once. What a complete and utter pathetic loser. What must they have thought? What the HELL was I thinking? I am seriously hoping that I was drunk.
Have you ever had a moment in life that you just wish you could take back and do all over? I do. Plus I think that’s one of my character flaws (one of many, you’ll notice after reading what I wrote above). I tend to regret things and stew over “what could have been” and things like that. Not sure why, but it’s just me. My cousin and her husband AND my aunt and uncle must think I’m a complete dickhead. But what do you say about it? Do you say – “oh, I’m sorry I was such a complete assface that night 5-7 years ago.” Or do you just let it go and hope that they see you for the (obviously) more mature guy you are now? Personally I’ve been tossing this around for months. I want to say something, but then I don’t. Let sleeping dogs lie and all that, right?
I just want to punch myself in the face for being so pathetic. One day I’ll either put this out of my head or have the good sense to ask my cousin about it so she can laugh in my face. Ugh.
