Cotter’s Corner

So my running didn’t last long. I’m being a girl about it. It’s hot outside so I come up with lots of excuses for why I can’t get my ass out there and run. I really, really need to get back on the bandwagon. And honestly, I’m a little disappointed in myself that I let myself stop. I was in the last week of the Couch-to-5K program and I just can’t believe I stopped. I made it all that way over those 8 weeks only to stop. Ugh.

But, I’m writing this honest post in an attempt to motivate myself to get back on the wagon. I need to give up that one hour of TV and just get off my ass and run. Easier said than done, but I was actually working myself up to something. You see, I’m going to be going to Naples, Florida in a few months and I have ALWAYS thought it would be cool to be able to run down the beach in the morning for a little exercise. I realize that may seem a little “Hollywood” and all. Perhaps a little “Chariots of Fire”? Well, I still want to do it.

I’ve played racquetball with my neighbor, Gerry. But I’m not playing often enough to really get any better. No, I’m not saying I want to give up racquetball or anything. I enjoy it more than anything else I’ve ever done. It’s a fantastically fun game and quite often while I’m playing I sit there and smile as I am serving or I am playing, because I am enjoying myself so damned much.

And the other motivating factor (I’m sure you wouldn’t have guessed this) is that I am not good at finishing things. In fact, it’s a huge issue for me. I would very much like to race a 5K. Just so that I can say that I did it. It’s kind of one of those “life goal” things that I want to be able to do. Yes, I’d LOVE to do the Music City Marathon (1/2 marathon, DUH – I’m not like a real runner or anything!). But, I think that would be an AWESOME accomplishment. and I have enough time to prepare for it since I can start anytime now and be in reasonably good shape to do that run. But…. motivataion. It’s like a four-letter word. Cruel bastard that it is. Motivation mocks me. It’s sitting on my couch with a cold beer and laughing at me as it’s watching my TV.

So, my neighbor Gerry had a prior engagement for tonight and couldn’t meet me to play racquetball so I decided to go ahead and hop back on the treadmill last night. I ran for about 1.5 miles and alternated between walking and running. Did about 25 minutes total. Felt good. I was tired, but not dying or anything. So tonight I shall hop on again. I need to get back into the swing of running again. I thought I could replace it with racquetball, but I don’t think I can play enough to really take the place of it – so, I’ll just do both.

I’m also hoping to perhaps serve as encouragement to my son who is kind of a bump on a log. Perhaps if he sees the old fart doing stuff, he’ll be enouraged to do something as well. I’m not holding my breath or anything, but you never know.

Work has been pretty okay the past few days. I’m going to be setting up a review with my boss soon. I’m hoping that I get some good vibes from that.

Oh, and the commute to work this morning? 1.5 hours. Please hurry Santa, please hurry!

Okay, I’ll admit it. I’m looking forward to taking the train to work. It gets closer every day and I grow more annoyed with my current parking/commute problems. I don’t recall ever detailing this before now, so let me see if I can explain to you how amazingly bad the parking situation is here at my job. We work in downtown Nashville where parking is a premium. Not as much as in New York or any place like that, but it’s hard to find a spot here, and this building only has a limited number of spaces underneath it. So – they ship off the lower ranked employees to a completely different area to park. Namely? Across the river near LP Field (where the Tennessee Titans play). The city makes extra money by selling these spaces to companies who need a place for their employees to park. Win-win situation, right? Ummmm, no.

There are supposed to be three shuttles running continuously to take people to and from our building, which sits about 9 city blocks away from where we actually park. In reality? These shuttles frquently end up in a line one right after another and the first one gets filled to capacity while the others are nearly empty. So, we pack in like sardines and enjoy the uncomfortable ride across the bridge. Oh yeah – the bridge. The one the city decided to start refurbishing the DAY we started riding this new shuttle. Lucky coincidence, isn’t it? Round trip time for the shuttle? About 15-20 minutes. So, if you get it timed wrong you can be standing outside the building waiting for a shuttle to come and get you for about 20 minutes. In a hurry? Don’t be. The shuttle gets there when the shuttle gets there, baby!

It’s insanely frustrating to show up in the lot ten to fifteen minutes early (say 7:15 or so) and then having to wait 20 minutes and then sit for another 10-15 on the ride over. Early? Not anymore you aren’t. Leaving early? No. Sorry. You can’t. You think, “I know, I’ll get out about 4:15 and beat the crowd!” No, no you won’t. You’ll walk to the lobby at 4:15 and the shuttle will be no where near the building. You’ll wait until 4:30 or 4:35 and THEN it will show up. Then you can wait for the 20 minute drive. Since going back to the parking area takes roughly twice as long as leaving it. And the buses are laid out nice too. There are seats all around the outer edges with everyone forced to look upon one another uncomfortably the entire time. I realize that may sound wierd, and sometimes its not so bad, but there are days you just don’t wanna stare at people for 20 minutes straight.

Anyways, it’s the WORST parking situation I’ve ever been a part of. It’s one of the reasons I was seriously considering leaving here.

So now I just bite my lip and look forward to the train. Yeah, I’ll have to walk a little more, but it will be worth it. The train will be on a *GASP* schedule! So, I’ll know exactly when it gets here and when it leaves. What a FRIGGIN concept that is. 50 minutes of no traffic, no anything but ME time. The cost will be about half of what I spend in gas ALONE. So, it’ll be awesome. September 18. Please, PLEASE hurry. I feel like I’m waiting on Christmas.

Hurry Santa, bring me the train!!

I think it is important for me to follow up that really, REALLY depressing last post with a more positive one. Somedays it’s pretty easy to feel unappreciated and wallow around in the crappy feelings of self-doubt. My last blog post was on one of those days. I wouldn’t say that I’m over it necessarily, but I am definitely motivated to make it change. I had an interview setup for today that I canceled. The job would be a lateral move for me and I don’t think I need to move that way again. The pay and the conditions aren’t THAT BAD here. No matter what I may say in my blog. I just like to feel like I’m part of the team and that I’m making a contribution to the company that pays me. I’m not one of those “sit in the corner and collect my salary” kinds of guys. I feel guilty for doing that.

So, I’m going to have a serious conversation with my boss. He has asked me to fill out paper work for my review and during that review I’m going to tell him how I think I’m doing, how I think I’m being held back and what he really expects of me. He’s the kind of guy who would be receptive to this kind of thing, so, I’m not really nervous about it. Just really trying to come up with the best way to articulate it.

I just wanted to post that I’m really fine. I don’t want anyone taking something that was (obviously) written when I was down – out of context. Yes, there are issues here – just like with any job. I think I just needed to hit that point to make myself wake up and realize that it’s not going to change unless I get up front and do something about it.