Cotter’s Corner

So, I had my wisdom teeth removed yesterday. I’m on some narcotic now to help with the pain, but all seems well so far. The lowers are MUCH more sore than the uppers. But, it does seem better today. I’ve only had soup and pudding up until this point. Which, isn’t so bad I suppose. But the drugs make me woozy and I suppose this is why I don’t really like drugs – I hate feeling woozy. But anyways, just wanted to let anyone who cares know that I made it through alive. I do have pics of my already gigantically swelled head made much more swelled.

Anyways, more later. Hope everyone had a great Christmas and that you’ll have a great New Year. Think of ol’ Joey since this will be a sober New Years for me. No alcohol allowed.

Let me explain. You see, I’m not the kind of guy who likes failures. They really bother me. I tend to brood over things and then brood some more. Some might say this is an effective learning technique. Some might say it’s OCD or anal. Yeah, maybe. So, I had time to analyze it some and I’m going to lay out how it went down…

I walked in feeling calm, confident and excited about the prospects of working for a younger, dynamic company that really put a premium on talent. There are a lot of VERY smart people working for their organization. We walked into the conference room and they started off by asking me if I had any questions. I asked about travel, since I’ve learned that usually when there is a lot of pay, there is a lot of travel. Everyone in the room told me about all the travel they had done in the past two years and it was minimal. So, I was pleased. I was really thinking that this company might be a fantastic fit for me.

Then they asked me to name the top three things I was comfortable doing. I listed off Security Assessments(HIPAA Assessments/Healthcare), Microsoft Design, Cisco Design as my top three. So, they started asking me some pretty rudimentary HIPAA questions. And here is where it gets ugly. The terms, phrases and sales speak that used to flow off of my tongue during the hundreds of sales meetings I attended suddenly were no where to be found. I had forgotten some of the basic tenets of HIPAA. The reason? I haven’t even considered HIPAA in about two years. My current job (one year) and the one prior to this (also one year) didn’t require ANY HIPAA knowledge – so – it was gone. And there I was looking like a fool, not remembering names of security tools I had used, how to configure certain things, etc. It was brutal. And so I got rattled. Which is the second problem – because a real consultant is the face of his organization. To get rattled is to lose the business and the respect of the customer. And I was rattled. I simply could not believe I couldn’t recall anything significant. It was a spectacular flame-out and easily the WORST job interview I’ve ever had. All my other interviews were easy as I have ALWAYS been able to rattle off endless streams of crap that was relevant.

My over-confidence in my abilities made me look like a fool. The knowledge I had once so easily recollected and used was now lost in the recesses of nothingness. I struggled to remember ANYTHING that was important and just couldn’t. So, this was a valuable lesson for me. And I now realize that these past two years have drained me of the things that make me valuable and marketable. It’s a crushing realization.

I feel so compelled to stand up for my reputation and go back to them and explain that I have dozens of references from satisfied customers and that I am MUCH better than my interview. But, I hesitate to seem so desperate. However, I waiver when I think they may see something good from that – such as the fact that I am determined and self confident despite a set back. Something I’d consider a good quality.

So now you know. It was humiliating and I’m still bitter. But at least I know now what I did wrong, and how I’m making it worse for myself by letting this job suck away my talent. I’ll be more prepared the next time.

Yeah, heard back from them. Not good. Pretty hard to feel good about a guy who describes his “strength” as security and auditing HIPAA affected businesses who can’t recollect some of the most identifiable tenets of the regulation.

Idiot.

Yeah, yeah – I have a job. I *know*, I get it. This was a better job. A FAR better job. This place actually has customers and business. Whereas – I got shit.

I’m completely emo about this shit now, so, I’m going to stop here.

That sentiment goes to my current employer. After tanking the interview, it appears I’m not going anywhere, anytime soon. It was horrendous. I sit there and talked about my past but when I was asked specific questions I couldn’t come up with specific answers. It’s like the past two years of friggin Shop at Home and my current employer are sucking all of the “technical savvy” out of me. Ugh. I felt like a complete moron, and yes – now I’m bitter. It was probably the worst interview I’ve ever had. And it’s pretty disappointing, considering how well the informal meeting went the day before.

Anyways, now I’m annoyed. I’m not going to let this position suck away any more of the skills I currently possess. The slow bleed of knowledge stops, today.

Ugh.

Ugh.

Ugh.

So, I’m pretty excited that Christmas will soon be heading to town. Work has been pretty slow here lately and the drive in to work gets gradually less and less crowded and more and more people are taking the days before the holiday off of work. Lots of cool things are happening for old Joey. I was contacted by a company that I had previous talked to about a position and as it turns out, they have a different (read:better) position available now. So, I’m talking to them and seeing what they have to offer. I’m trying not to get too excited, but it’s hard not to. I think it’s pretty obvious if you’ve been following along here in blog-land that I’ve been a little less than thrilled with how things have worked out for me here thus far. It’s not that I don’t like my job, it’s just that things could be SOOOOOOO different here, and the reason they aren’t is because they never have been. Does that make sense? Change isn’t something greeted warmly at the door at a place like this. Change is invited inside, sat down in a chair and then clubbed in the head when no one is looking and drug off to be bound. gagged and locked up in a coat closet.

I know it’s probably a little premature to talk about at this point, but, if I did have to leave here I think it would be pretty tough to tell Paul. My boss. He’s a good guy, I really like him and I think it would be disappointing for him if I were to leave at this point. But, the culture here isn’t ready for someone like me. That’s pretty much why I’m the outsider. And no, I’m not trying to sound all stupid and emo – it’s the truth. All the people here are not the traditional IT person you could imagine. They are all engineers, and not IT engineers.  I mean like building engineers. People who create things. And they’ve all kind of moved into IT roles from their engineering positions. Which, you would think would make them good at their job – and you’d be correct. They are good, but they don’t embrace a lot of the traditional (effective) IT concepts. And I walk in, with my funky traditional IT upbringing. Yeah, kind of like the only crazy guy in a room full of sane people, or maybe vice-versa.

Anyways, if you are reading this I hope you have a fantastic Christmas and I’ll post any further developments as they happen.  Also, I’m feeling like Dick Clark counting down the minutes until I get four little teeth plucked from my noggin next week. I’m sincerely NOT looking forward to that.
Anyways, more later!

So, I’ve put some nifty metatarsal pads in all of my shoes and my foot isn’t getting any worse. Which is a load off. I’m using a different lacing technique for my shoes (bar lacing) and with the addition of the pads my feet don’t fall asleep while running (which is a weird feeling) and I’m completely comfortable. But I must have poked the Fate-Bear with a stick or something…

In just about two weeks I’m getting my wisdom teeth removed.  Which is ordinarily a big deal, but I have extenuating circumstances that make it a REAL big deal. You see, I have this one wisdom tooth that is laid out sideways in my mouth. Not back-front, but just kind of like it fell over drunk in my jaw bone. Always been like that. And it’s gonna be a pain in the ass to remove. So, my oral surgeon tells me that I’ll be able to open my mouth about an inch 5 days after the procedure. Yay. That’s really freaking thrilling. I’m going to take pictures of my non-swelled already-fat head and put it up here along with “after” pics to show the damage. Golly, this should be a blast.

And the worst part of it is that it’s gonna screw with my running training schedule.  *sigh* it’s like my body is conspiring against me to keep me from running. And that is starting to piss me off.

Yeah, today! I’m… umm… 30.

Morton’s Neuroma. Or, a metatarsal neuroma. What does this mean? Well, I have a painfully swelled nerve between my third and fourth toe. What are the symptoms of this? Well, if I step just the right way I get a lightning bolt of pain through my entire foot and my foot hurts painfully for a few minutes, keeping me from walking on it.

Now, imagine running on something like that. Yeah, it sucks.

I started back to physical activity this week after being away (lazy) for a while. It felt good to be exercising, but I really miss my iPod. You see, I gave my iPod to the wife so that she could have it to listen to while she worked out. And that left me with… nothing. So, you can see the flaw in the plan I’m sure. So, I’ve been out there not listening to anything. Which is okay too, for now. But, I’m sure I’ll tire of it.

Anyways, Monday I start week one of the Couch-to-5K program (yes, again). I’ve been away for so long that I feel like it would be smarter just to start all over again. Week one begins Monday, December 4. This will give me the chance to get in a few days of walking to get myself used to getting up early and get me in the mood to exercise. Hopefully. But, actually – I have a goal. I want to run in the Nashville Predators FANGtastic 5K that is on February 10. And I have enough time to complete the C25K program with two weeks to spare. That should allow me to do a couple of practice runs. Which, will be needed – I’m sure.

But Joe – how will you run with the foot problem you have? Well, the Podiatrist gave me some inserts that amazingly really seem to make the dogs feel better. I know this because I did a mile on Wednesday and Thursday morning without the inserts and my foot is now feeling residual pain from that. So… DUH – I need to keep using those inserts – even in my running shoes and hopefully the stupid thing will go away. Surgery is an option, but, I’d rather avoid any cutting on my feet. Getting a cortisone shot in my foot damn near made me cry. So, the last thing I want near my foot is a scalpel.

We’re still waiting to hear anything from China. And we’ve decided to take the kids with us. So, if you want to PayPal me some funds to help pay for the trip – I’d REALLY appreciate it. Robyn and I have had a TON of shots to prepare and the kids will have to take a few too – oh goodie.

More later.